Yahrzeit

you know already
the Green Man will be 101 
on the 21st of Cheshvan

when the clocks 
pretend to fall back 
when our calendar 
turns one 

and I may not cut my hair
after all I didn’t 
go to the protest 
but was welcomed 

not in my name

in the real world
where attic insulation 
will be deepened 

I’ll make sure
the ceiling falls 
down on nobody 

a year ago in 
their calendar
you knew that last 
early morning

when you tossed me 
a string I couldn’t 
tug back
with words pulling colors 
through a dark sky in our
synesthesia shared silence

he couldn’t let me help
with a legacy I didn’t ask for
no one could stop the filth
or the piles then

or before 
he sat dead 
near a dirty tallis

I told him
though I didn’t have to 
that I called 50 times 

we all know
it doesn’t matter

you left right before 
your favorite number
after telling me you tried
to love me as best you could

I believed you
then it all stopped and 
he opened the window

you were right
there’s no one to ask

somehow
there’s a new Beatles song
I’ll bet you heard it

tell my father
to whom I also didn’t
get to say good-bye
that I said hello