Chaga

for Yahna and Danny

my friend left me 
a tea I craved
that had been gifted 
before by another friend
before I learned 
that this tea could
help with the virus
before I was running out 
of chaga in the fog 
watching Covid’s vapors
rising while the cats 
guarded the bathtub
as I fell off hazed
before the vitamin gummies
tasted vaguely of soap
and I couldn’t smell
garlic cloves
lavender 
peppermint
cat litter
my own hands
before the toothpaste became
a smooth filmy spike
and crystallized ginger was
a point of contention then
blueberries and blackberries
always textured differently
were worlds apart
before a singular strawberry
made me cry